One Woman's Quest to Lose Large and Ugly Panties Forever

I've had it with ugly panties that fit my large behind. I'm done with clothes for the large woman that just aren't as cute as the clothes I wore twenty years ago. I'm tired of wheezing as I go up the stairs. I've got sixty pounds to lose - because on my fiftieth birthday, I'm dancing naked in a thong, dammit. And it better be pretty. This little bunny rabbit is hopping me down the weight loss lane. I wanted a pair of big granny panties rolling through the grass, but I'm not computer savvy.

Monday, January 24, 2011

The Scare

I got a call from the school today. Darling Boy fell off the top of the ten foot slide at his school. He was sliding on the edge of the slide and some other kid slid right behind him and he took a flying superman fall onto his chest at school. I was in a session and got the call about a half hour later. Flew to the school. He had ringing ears, nausea, and a headache. This means head injury. Called Dr. Lou the old time pediatrician we see, thinking he'd say "well bring him in" or "watch him." Instead, Lou said "get him to the emergency room."

Heart pounding, went to Children's Hospital ER. They felt the back of his neck. He said "ow." They put him in a C Collar. Flat on his back. My heart rate went up a bit. Darling Husband was in class. Posted my situation on Facebook - why I don't know - and Hilarious Pastor shows up spontaneously at hospital to hold my hand and promise he will give me wine as soon as I am off this low carb diet.

In the end, the verdict was Concussion. Darling Boy cannot do any ballet (did I already say he dances about ten hours a week in the academy of the very good professional ballet in our city?) and can't leap about and can't run and so forth for a week. We need to continue to watch him the rest of the night.

DBoy seems fine. Indeed he was flirting with the really hot blonde MD who looked at him today. Afterward, he got the "You Terrified Me and Promise You Will Never Ever Again Fuck Around On the Swing at That School Where No One Watches the Kids on the Playground" lecture.

I have only eaten 4 oz of chicken and asparagus so far today.

So I'm getting out the George Foreman and doing a low fat burger. I would like to substitute my two apple carb portions today for some wine. The Pastor encouraged it. He even said he'd get the wine.

Husband also encourages it.

We will see.

The whole thing reminded me about what is important and what is not. Hug your kids tonight my lovelies. Kiss them on their non-concussed heads.


  1. Oh gosh. That sucks. Hope Your little dud's ok. Mine broke 2 arms on monkey bars at school, not at same time. He's one of those....

  2. Oh geez, I'm glad it's not worse!! I have a kid like that- climbing things, jumping off stuff.. scares me to death!

  3. What a scary phone call and trip to the ER - glad he will be ok! How old is your son?

  4. He is 11 and in the sixth grade. Puberty has not hit yet and he remains as loving and cheery as anyone could ask. I'm soaking it up as long as possible.


Thanks for your posts. It's the best reinforcement I can have that has no calories.