One Woman's Quest to Lose Large and Ugly Panties Forever

I've had it with ugly panties that fit my large behind. I'm done with clothes for the large woman that just aren't as cute as the clothes I wore twenty years ago. I'm tired of wheezing as I go up the stairs. I've got sixty pounds to lose - because on my fiftieth birthday, I'm dancing naked in a thong, dammit. And it better be pretty. This little bunny rabbit is hopping me down the weight loss lane. I wanted a pair of big granny panties rolling through the grass, but I'm not computer savvy.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

A Beagle's Worth of Fat Off My Ass

Finally. FINALLY. It's been about a month and I finally made it twenty pounds. It's a third of what I want to lose but it's OFF. This is the weight of an average beagle.

I had this infantile fantasy that somehow, I would happily diet along and that the weight would just FALL off and I would not notice it and that this would be easy.

Boy was I wrong. I feel like I have had to suffer and fight for every one of those pounds. It is daunting to think that this is only going to get harder as I get closer to goal weight and not easier. But it must be done. It MUST be.

Super Bowl Sunday is tomorrow - we are having SMW and the Hilarious Pastor over. SMW (Sexy Minister's Wife) is on a "belly diet" so that's a good thing - I'll have a partner in my healthful eating for the day. I am telling Darling Husband that the purchase of fattening Super Bowl Day foods will be up to him. I'm not even purchasing that shit.

Instead, I went to Whole Foods and today, I did not feel self-conscious at all. Indeed, TWO complete strangers struck up a conversation with me, and both gave me their cards. The first one was Ali, who owns the Middle Eastern Restaurant that I just adore. He noticed all of my greens. I let him know I was on a diet but that the first time I was able to eat at a restaurant, I was making a bee line for his place (his hummus is just to die for). He GIVES ME HIS CARD and says "No No, If you need your food prepared specially, just call me ahead of time. It's no problem." Then he said that I should not lose too much more weight, which of course was a lie, but it was a nice little flirty lie. The next person was by the Salsa Testing Table. She also noticed my Pile O' Kale and in her charming little New York Accent gave me a nifty recipe to prepare it and then we launched into a discussion of her job as a personal travel agent. She gave me her card and said that she would take my entire family to India or Peru. WOW.

Usually I am the one who approaches people, but this time, no. Perhaps I smell really nice today?

OK, back to drinking More Water. How much do you drink? Aren't we supposed to drink half our body weight in water, per day? Wow. I'd better get at it then.