One Woman's Quest to Lose Large and Ugly Panties Forever

I've had it with ugly panties that fit my large behind. I'm done with clothes for the large woman that just aren't as cute as the clothes I wore twenty years ago. I'm tired of wheezing as I go up the stairs. I've got sixty pounds to lose - because on my fiftieth birthday, I'm dancing naked in a thong, dammit. And it better be pretty. This little bunny rabbit is hopping me down the weight loss lane. I wanted a pair of big granny panties rolling through the grass, but I'm not computer savvy.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sugar Ingested. Ugh.

The Fucking Girl Scouts.

Well, OK it's not their fault. And it's not Darling Husband's fault. He tried to hide the box of cookies but I, with my unerring radar for cookies, found them. And then lickety split, ate two of them. The peanut butter kind. And had a large glass of delicious milk.

And about two hours later, I had the absolute worst headache of my entire life. It was horrible. Is that just a coincidence or is that sugar rushing in? This was on the heels of being at sweet Uncle George's birthday. He served his father in law's (who is Italian and about 85 years old) home made pizza. The father in law (Grandpa P) looked at all of us anxiously to see if we enjoyed it. I had one piece. It was fabulous. I was in Carb Heaven. And then the Polish Birthday Cake was served. I had a small piece. It was a home made thing of cinnamon and chocolate and flour and cocaine and money and sex and and and ... you get the drift. And then I came home and had those fucking Girl Scout Cookies.

And a headache.

I got on the scale and it was up a pound. That is OK given that I'm supposed to hang out at 190 for six weeks to "reset my metabolism" which I still wonder about. But OK, I'll hang.

Today was better. Ate poached eggs, a piece of wheat toast, delicious coffee with cream (not much but enough to make a point). Had a bite of friend's hash browns. Not impressed with the hash browns.

Then was full all day (duh with the carb fest of the day before, no wonder). And ate salad with scallops and my FAVORITE MISO DRESSING and a small bit of bacon crumble and asparagus and hearts of palm and saute' shallot and a zillion kinds of greens. And mushrooms.

I'm still full. Thank God I'm back on track. I actually prayed this morning to get some help with not having any more "food fuckery" as one of my favorite bloggers calls it.

I was disconcerted at falling off the wagon in this way. I wasn't having any particular leanings or cravings. I just impulsively said YEAH YOU BET and consumed like a hog a mite.

But today, we're back in the saddle.

I am just wondering what going back to a real diet will be like when the next two and a half weeks are up. I think I can do it. I'm not sure what "IT" will be, but I'm game to keep going!

But no more Fucking Girl Scout Cookies.

Besides, I was a Camp Fire Girl. We hated the Girl Scouts anyway.


  1. You know, from here it doesn't seem like you overate; rather, you ate food you don't normally eat while you're dieting. Hey - life, and life's celebrations, happen. Sounds like you enjoyed the birthday party in moderation, and two Girl Sprout (hehe, I was a Camp Fire Girl too) cookies isn't terrible. I think the important thing is not going down a path of destruction when you eat "off the diet" foods, and you didn't. Cut yourself some slack - you are doing really great!

  2. Every year I dread the cookies and having to say no to those little monsters. This year I just ate a box of Samoas and got it over with. No more for another year!!! And yeah, what Shelley says :)

  3. "Besides, I was a Camp Fire Girl. We hated the Girl Scouts anyway."


  4. OMFGLMAO! They are the debil. My best friend's daughter is one and she is actually a troop leader so she gained about 30 lbs this selling season...I'm not exaggerating :( I can't resist those PB ones either.

    I'm currently some traditional Irish stuff for my new guy tomorrow (He's Irish) and one of the things I'm making is some kind of Irish cream brownies with some irish cream frosting and crumbled toffee on top...I ate an entire heath bar myself :S Scandalous!!

    Glad to see you are back on track though. I'm going to have to read more of your blog to see what plan you are following...low carb obviously, but sounds regimented....

  5. Girl scout cookies are the devil, but I can honestly say I haven't had one in over 2 years!


  6. I was a Brownie so I understand your feeling about the G-Scouts. I have been trying to avoid Walmarts after 3 pm and on the weekend. Ever since the G-Scouts caught me coming out a couple of Saturday mornings ago. I ate TWO BOXES. Now, doesn't that make you feel better. I help where I can :)

    Hope your having a great day!


Thanks for your posts. It's the best reinforcement I can have that has no calories.